im not emo damn it

im not emo[bitches]!!!!
i just like black[but i prefer blue, green and red(?)]
i love wolves, bats and snakes...
i do seem to always LOOK sad..
but im not..
just LONELY[DAMN IT]
so just gth, for those who think im emo...

im not sad anymore!
im pissed!
they caused it..
=P

once again

my heart...
it broke again...
it's not black ice..
it's glass..
breakable by a strand of hair...

truly...
seriously...
secretly...
i wana tell him...
but... i cant bring myself
to do so....
she knows she's already
attached....
yet she does this to him...

no guy ever gives me a
chance to love them like
i really can...
they dont seem to care
or want to know...
idiots..
maybe i should be through
with guys..
except A..:)
now there's someone i
can love..

i cant really see her
being able to love as much
as i can and will...

but of course..
she's gorgeous ain it...
that's the reason..
stupid sister..
made me look like a FOOL!!
ergh! I HATE HER!!!!!!!!!
she caused all this!
now she's just shit to me
DAMN it.....

yeah, sure..
she's a whole lot prettier..
"hotter"
"sexier"
"beautiful-er"
than i will ever be...
huh..
rub it in then..
i dont care..
wait..
i do care..
it will hurt me even more..
she hurt me real bad..
she cut me deep man..
real deep..
which time will never heal..
i'll remember it..
i'll remember this forever...

ahhh...
im so hurt...
she always does stupid things...
i told her no..
i said NO..
but nooo, she took the comp and
put me on screen...
made me look like a fool..
now it's too late..
you cant change the past..
but you can shape the future..

but he wont change his mind..
he like the msn her..
he saw me at my worst..
and it's all nurul's fault..
it's all her fault..
stupid girl..
stupid stupid STUPID girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i hate her...

and i dont believe you shorty..
sure..
think i didnt see you shake your head..
when your BESTEST friend said if
you were happy with the pairing...
whatever..

people,
i hold grudges..
i can hold them pretty long..
very long..
you make me very pissed..
there is a 0.000000000000001%
chance i will give you a chance..

i wana tell you im heart broken..
but i'll spoil everyone's mood...
i wouldn't want to do that to
people i don't know..
especially those i dont know yet..
don't want to give a bad
impression...

im really heart broken dude..
you cant see that...
i guess so...

ok..
i hope you saw that dude...
i wont tell her.. coz ...
i just wont.. she'll..
i dont know..
i just wont tell her...
but if she does see this..
then good for her..
alright..
i think that's all ive got to say..
if i do have more..
i'll write more...
all dedicated to you..
alright..

im truly heart broken...

guess what

i just had my heart broken again

wait i change my mind

i still love you
you're reachable
i still want you..
but i wont ask you....
i still care for you A...:)

every heart break

EVERY HEART BREAK
MAKES MY HEART
GROW COLDER

NOW IT'S JUST BLACK ICE
SOLID BLACK ICE
AND AN ACT OF KINDNESS
OR AND ACT OF EVIL
FROM A GUY
WILL MELT
MY HEART AWAY..
GONE WITH THE WIND
FOREVER

HOWL TO THE MOON
LIKE THAT'S THE
ONLY REASON TO HOWL
BECAUSE IT IS
THE ONLY REASON TO HOWL
AS I SAT UP ON MY THRONE
ALL ALONE, NO MATE BY MY SIDE
I WATCHED AS A HUNTING PACK
STROLLS BY IN THE SHADOWS

IT PAINS ME TO WATCH YOU
WALK AWAY WITH ANOTHER
WE'VE ONLY KNOWN EACH OTHER
FOR A VERY SHORT TIME...
BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE MEANT FOR ME
BUT I WAS TOO LATE..
LIKE I ALWAYS AM
WHEN I FEEL THE SAME TOWARDS ANOTHER

MY BARK IS WORSE THAN MY BITE...
PLEASE UNDERSTAND I HAVE A SHARP TONGUE
IT CANT BE STOPPED
IT'S STING IS MUCH MORE PAINFUL THAN A SCORPIONS'
AND IT'S IMPRESSION WILL NOT LAST LIKE
A FOOTSTEP BY THE BEACH AT HIGH TIDE
IM SO SORRY TO ALL THOSE I'VE OFFENDED
AS A CUB I'VE BEEN TOO PAMPERED

BUT JUST LIKE THE MALES I'VE MET
THEY'RE JUST LIKE
A FOOTSTEP AT HIGH TIDE

love hurts, but sometimes it's a good hurt.. haha

i met this new guy..
my sis found him cute.. FIRST..
even though i kinda saw him first...
haha..
it's my own fault.=)
ok.. so here's what i wrote earlier today.. hehe

[god, he breaks my heart..[but in a good way]
Every time he smiles...
coz he's in california, maybe..
or the feeling of
im-sure-it's-hard-for-him-to-be-mine...
but sometimes the question could be
if I WANT HIM TO BE MINE...
wtheck...
of course i want him to be mine=]
[hah, i wish..(:]
haha...
his smile makes me melt:)
but he's on the other side of the world:(
if i stayed in america, i'd be closer to him
and my fav stars:)

[especially jared<3]
he does break my heart...
just thinking about him kinda hurt...
sometimes a lot..
love probably isn't there...
but i do really like him..
haha, coz he's cute and really hot...=]
he is breaking my heart....
ouch..
maybe i do love him..
but not as strongly as i want it to be...
he might just be another passing crush...
just like all the three guys...]

haha.. ok..
it does hurt...
real bad..
i could cry but...
i dont know what my sis will think...
i mean..
nevermind..
IF THE GUY ISN'T INTERESTED,
HE ISN'T INTERESTED....
YOU'RE NOT AS GOOD-LOOKING
AS YOU'RE SISTER..
I MEAN LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF
FRIENDS SHE HAS..
I MEAN LET'S NOT EVEN GO LOOK
AT THE NUMBER OF EXs SHE HAS...
JUST BY LOOKING AT THE NUMBER OF
GUY-FRIENDS SHE HAS...

I MEAN, YEAH..
*SIGHS*
WHATEVER WILL I DO......

dear you,

sometimes i find it VERY hard to believe you...
but it's true..
it's not you...
it's me...
i do have trust issues...
believe it, it's true......


i guess it's hard to believe..
hah, i dont even trust myself to be good...
haha...
i love me..=]

hmm

yes...
hmm...

the most great question right now...
did i write anything other than this today??
heeeh.. i duno:)

end's near

english p1 [250908]
english p2 [250908]
ss [250908]
malay p1 [290908]
malay p2 [290908]
lit [061008]
bio [061008]
chem [071008]
geog [071008]
emath p2 [081008]
amath [091008]
emath p1 [101008]

hehe...
2 days left...
*SIGH* (:
*SIGH* (:
*SIGH* (:

ok...
it is starting to feel a lot better..

...

[heeh.. im watching tv... i'll be right back]
ok..
not much to say..
victoria beckham looks real young..
she's old right??

hah ok..
i wana go off..
play spore..
off

oooh...

it is so crazy...
ahhh
shit la

english p1 [250908]
english p2 [250908]
ss [250908]
malay p1 [290908]
malay p2 [290908]
lit [061008]
bio [061008]
chem [071008]
geog [071008]
emath p2 [081008]
amath [091008]
emath p1 [101008]

that's the DANG arrangement..
first five were quite ok..
today and tomorrow DAMN killer...

esp tomorrrow..
i duno la..
lalalala..
DANG DAMN DARN SHIT
haiya...
save me god=)
i dont know what to do..
all teachers have high expectations..
i need to get A1 for both chem & geog..
must...
MUST...
really badly...

haiya
haiya
haiya...
*SIGH*
*SIGH*
*SIGH*
=]

today not much happened...
heard probably got 2V outing
some time..
if it does happen,
go or not :)
whatever...
[ya la.. lame]
go la..
got to read up on....
EVERYTHING!!
byebye:)

never again

i don't wanna be emo anymore..
i bores me to the f****** core..=]
the songs i hear DOES NOT reflect who i am..
thank you=]

my parents got to enjoy the F1 buzz..
[so not fair coz they left me out! i didn't even
get to hear the roar=[... i hope i didn't miss out
too much.,]

hoohoo=]
heehee=]

[ok enough]
alright enough=]
what to do..
exams not over yet..
i think i'm screwed!
damn shitty screwed..

wanana[heehee wanana, hope you people know what it's supposed to mean]
know who i think it hot?
. jared padalecki [he's only 8 years older than me=)]
. ewan mcgregor [for an old guy.. he's over 30=( over 30 is old. for me i mean]
. johnny depp [also for an old guy, but he's DAMN awesome=)]
. brad pitt [he's a so-so.. he'll probably be off the list when i remember other hot guys]
. chester bennington [most AWESTRUCK rocker.. hot but he's married... twice]
. christian bale [he's difficulty of speaking properly is cute.. but his mouth isn't when he wear 'the mask']

. johnny pacar [he is totally on top of the list.. weird though, he's older than jared-dear, but he still is really hot!!]

i did not list accordingly..
just whoever i remember...
i'll add on to the list when i remember more=]

tag me..
tell me who you think is hot..
maybe we share the same 'hottie-interest'..
...whatever...
[yeah... 'hottie-interest'??? i find that wierd too]