Bad History

I'm actually kind of embarrassed looking back at the things I wrote.
I mean, like, who was that person back then?
Can I somehow archive them and make them unreadable to the general public?
It's more to save your eyes from things I used to write. Kind of embarrassing actually.
Maybe I really do need to start a new one.

I think I'll use my new email and archive this entirely. Of course the link is freaking awesome. I think I should make another one wolf related and way more awesome.

hi :)

I used to write better. More flowery with my words and expressions. More creative too. Gotta start that again by reading and writing more.

Hi. I'm writing this because I'm at work and my brain isn't working. So I needed to do something and look productive.

The good thing is that my typing is still okay. I think I used to type better and faster but I guess the lack of familiarity with the keyboard doesn't help with my average skill.

Hi, H. I don't think you'll ever find this. And I really hope you didn't. There were lots of dark memories in here that even I am afraid to venture. But I didn't wanna get rid of them because we share the same thoughts on that. Sort of. Yours was more about me. Mine is about my history.

Maybe I can look back one day and not be embarrassed, but until that time comes, I hope you don't see it too.

<3 p="">

Adding one second to a year.

That phenomenon is real. You should go look it up.

Anyway,
I'm writing again because I needed a place to vent while no one is here. My boyfriend stalks me everywhere. It's a good thing, I like doing that too. Just that I think my thoughts are way too dark for anyone to handle. Other people have their own problems anyway :)

I'm just feeling sad right now.
It is about the past. It haunts me. My thoughts haunt me. I need to get away.

I need to face them, I just don't know how to.

The problem I'm facing is that I remember the good things. I felt like we fit well together and that I am sad to see that compatibility become lost in time and fade away as memory. The problem I'm facing is I don't remember what it felt like to love him and I don't know if that is why I can't let it go.

Maybe I'm just holding onto memories. And feelings. And the feeling of missing out on the future we had planned together. The future I had envisioned would come true. The one I really hoped would come true. Replacing that with another was never a possibility. I didn't ever want it to be.

I also remember the last time we met. I couldn't feel love from him, or for him. They were embers; slowly burning out. That feeling, brought warmth to my eyes.

Time is something that passes with or without your existence; that's what you showed me with how you treated our relationship and how you treated how it ended. Especially when I know you brought her to your room 1 day after we actually split, and you were dating her 6 days before that. I gave you space, you used it to spend with other people. Just like the last time I gave you space.

So, I'll just take the high road and leave all this behind. Just like you seem to have. Although, it's weird that you could accidentally follow my boyfriend on fb.

#np High Road ft. John Legend, Fort Minor.