Fight Inside - RED

Enemy, familiar friend
My beginning and my end
Knowing truth
Whispering lies, and it hurts again

What I fear
What I try
The words I say and what I hide
All the pain; I want it to end
But I want it again

And it finds me
The fight inside is coursing through my veins
And it's raging
The fight inside is breaking me again

It's still the same
Pursuing pain
Isn't worth the light I've gained
We both know how this will end
But I do it again

And it finds me
The fight inside is coursing through my veins
And it's raging
The fight inside is hurting me again
And it finds me
The war within me pulls me under
And without you
The fight inside is breaking me again

It's nothing
(It's everything)
It's nothing
(It's everything)
It's nothing
(It's everything)
It's nothing
It's everything!

And it finds me
The fight inside is coursing through my veins
And it's raging
The fight inside is hurting me again
And it finds me
The war within me pulls me under
And without you
The fight inside is breaking me again

It's breaking me!
It's breaking me!

I'm falling apart!
I'm falling apart!



what does this song mean to me?
maybe i'll get back to you on that :X
but right now it's abt having lost someone
and the pain of that is the fight inside

STOP IT

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
why am i so depressed?
my heart has a glitch :/
it hasnt been working right for a few days
i think abt 3/4 days..

im not purposely feeling down
why should i?
i'll be troubling people,
esp since i cant explain my problem.
i never was able to explain my problem coz i never had to
coz no one asked and no one would listen

i feel so cut off from the other people
other people who can tell other people their problems
and be done with it :/

i've been listening to Fight Inside by RED alot today.
somehow i feel that way?
i feel like i might end up alone again
but i never wanna be alone
EVER AGAIN :(
so now what?
how am i going to fix my heart when i duno what started in it the first place?

i know i just started feeling grumpy
thats all i know
but i duno what made me start feeling that way in the first place...

if i wanted to make many posts for how i feel today i could.
and it'll be the same thing over and over again.
but i still wouldnt know what the underlying problem is.
so i duno how i can fix it...

he cant fix it, coz i duno how he can help
im selfish to him.
when i feel down, i decide to lock up my heart and i keep quiet.
he doesnt like that i stay quiet for a long time,
coz what he wants from me
is the entire opposite of who i made myself to be;
quiet, reserved, fake, sad, maybe somehow broken.

he wants me to change the mask i built so well to protect my truly fragile heart
IM AFRAID.
i built it too well maybe and my heart doesnt wanna be vulnerable
it's scary; the world out there and the people in it..
i built it too well, my fragile heart has grown attached to it.
i need to break it down so he wont go.
NEED.
WANT.
why is it so difficult?
i told him didnt i?
i warned him, i remember i warned him.
i warned him abt my heart.
i havent been able to stop crying entirely yet
and every time its coz
i remember disappointing the only guy
who ever gave me a chance.
i realise i am not good enough yet.
im an idiot :(
he gave me a chance and im blowing it :/
I AM AN IDIOT.

school is giving me loads of headaches and i feel like im dying
the invisible pile is stacking up on me and it keeps piling
like it wont end.
even though the assignments dont really keep increasing
it does feel like it :(
i feel tired.
they're pushing everything on us
this world is getting harder to live in...

i cant stop feeling down,
even when i want to.
my heart is broken all over.
i dont understand myself..
maybe i should get to studying but im tired.
am i making a mountain out of a molehill?
i hope not, esp since i duno whats wrong...

i see no light

not sure why, but i've really stop being normal for a few days alr, hormonal imbalance maybe :/

i promise i have no idea whats wrong with me...

I cant always put on a smile.

And sometimes I cant even pretend to be happy anymore.

Why do you die inside, Heart?

What is causing you to crumble into pieces?

I dont understand.

I dont understand the pain you're feeling.

The pain you're feeling...

I cant always have a spring in my step.

And sometimes I just dont laugh anymore.

Why do you die inside?

Why do you hurt inside, Fragile Heart?

I dont understand.

I dont understand what you feel.

The pain that you're feeling.

How much further are you going to bring me down?

How much further can I hold on?

Holding on to whatever's left of the mask you have to see,

You cant fix me, coz I dont know how I can be fixed.

How much more farce will fit into the void that doesnt seem to want to heal?

Where is this pain coming from?

Where is this pain coming from?

Where will this pain lead me?

I dont want it to go,

My Spirit.

There's only one salvation I can touch,

and one Salvation I can call.

I'm begging for you,

To fix me where I'm broken.

Im broken inside,

Can you reach me there?

Can you reach inside?